A screenwriter comes home to his burned down house. His sobbing, singed and smoking wife is crying outside.
“What the hell happened?” asks the screenwriter.
“Oh darling,” she sobs, “it was awful! I was baking brownies and the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the oven had caught fire. The whole kitchen went up in half a minute. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. And our kitten – poor Felix is…is–”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The scriptwriter says. “My agent called?”
Here’s another one.
What’s the difference between a large pizza and an author?
The pizza can feed a whole family.
Yes, we know. It really is difficult being a writer. Especially if you’re a budding writer.
How do I get published?
How do I market my stuff?
How good is my writing?
But don’t worry – there’s lots of advice out there. Most of it designed to take money from you – one way or another. Of course, there is always, initially, going to be some expense you’re going to have to shell out. But what on? And how much? Who to? When?
Should I concentrate solely on my novel? – or should I start finding help with marketing the moment I put finger to cursor.
Should I employ a professional editor to help me express my words and feeling better?
When do I use exclamation marks? Words – ending in “-ing”.
What about direct/indirect speech? Quotes?
What do I know about formatting issues?
We asked Peter McGarry, author of RED DRESS REVOLUTION.
Peter has been a playwright for thirty years and has won awards world-wide and more importantly, has made a more than decent living from writing. RED DRESS REVOLUTION was his first novel.
“It started out as a screen-play that the BBC were sniffing at. Soon, it was far too long and I felt that a novel would be more appropriate for the way the story was starting to pan out.
I started writing – using the structure from the initial screenplay draft. Wrote and re-wrote the book several times before I submitted it. Looking back, I think I should have had some ongoing editing process while writing the novel – rather than wait till I had completed it. Having someone edit is as I was writing it – at the end of every chapter, say, would have meant having dialogue with someone about the quality of stuff I was producing.
I felt that no-one cared that I was writing a novel. Why should they, of course? But ongoing editing with someone who knew what they were doing would probably have made me feel more confident and capable.”
i-Witness is always looking for new authors who are wanting to self-publish. If this is you, please get in touch.